Insanity

Welp, I'm going insane -- seriously, seriously insane -- and I need to get it out somewhere. Since no one really reads this, here goes nothing.

I want a baby so bad. I want one with every fiber of my being. Last night, I was feeling really down - to the point of curling up in a ball on the couch and crying. Charles was, as usual, extraordinarily sweet. He held me as much as he could without uncurling me, and asked what I needed. Cuddle time was definitely in order. So, we tromped off to the bed and he held me in his arms.

Still, though, I wasn't okay. He offered a blessing, which I accepted. The blessing brought comfort and words which I needed to hear. I suppose the Lord is testing my faith as he did with Sophia's birth. The blessing before her birth told us we would get to spend time with her -- something we'd been earnestly praying for -- something others have been denied with their angels time and again. Why should we be any different, right? But it happened. I was hesitantly hopeful of a confirmation of that blessing... and it happened.

Now comes another trial of my faith. Do I believe the Lord can do it again? Certainly. He can do anything. Do I believe He will? He will, if He has said He will. Faith, Lora, faith.Wait just a few more days. Allow faith to carry you until the blessing has been confirmed.

Please. Please. Please.